In time gone by, Ryan Higa found that being a YouTuber wasn’t even remotely as good as being a parody K-Pop star. Clearly. He even called himself R.O.P. sometimes. David was Daeyang, Phil was P-Dragon, even Jun and Justin were Jeungri and J-Lite. Jun, more so, was even technically part of two K-Pop groups, BgA somehow doing better than most despite most of their music being pretty much a joke.
Who’s It Gonna Be? basically kickstarted their career, almost exactly like a Kickstarter campaign, but they just had to pretend to be K-Pop stars in order to further along their careers. Ryan could barely think of the last time he made a YouTube video that was just a YouTube video, as YouTube videos are just that.
Of course, David still did singing. Sometimes. Justin and Phil did...whatever they did. Jun always went back and forth between groups. Ryan kind of just sat there and came up with songs. What a tough life they all lived, a sarcastic, satirical tough life.
“Hey, Ryan,” someone said. Ryan hardly even heard it. “Ryan?” The unnamed person rolled his eyes. “R.O.P.?”
“Hm?” Ryan answered to his stage name. It was Jun talking.
“Weird, you don’t answer to ‘Ryan’ anymore...”
“Who?” Jun shook his head and rolled his eyes, the second time that day. He’d have to stop or else he’d look sassy to the invisible cameras that definitely weren’t filming him.
“Can I ask you a question?” Ryan hummed in response, though it was unclear of what kind of hum. Maybe something like a bird. “Well, can I?”
“Yeah, what?” Jun shook his head. Sassiness again. Despite Ryan being distracted, all he was doing was staring at his hands and not moving.
“So, do you think that-”
“Hey, why do you think we have ten fingers?” Ryan jumped in suddenly.
“Uh... I don’t know.”
“Why not an odd number? Then again, some people do have nine fingers. Sometimes they have eleven fingers... What if you had no fingers?”
“Can I ask my question?” Ryan nodded. “Do you think Justin kind of...hates me?”
“Who?” Jun closed his eyes.
“Oh.” Ryan paused to think for a nanosecond. “Yeah.”
“He does hate me?” Ryan shook his head.
“No, J-Lite thinks you’re cool, man.”
“Okay, so...he doesn’t hate me.”
“Well, he kind of hates everything and everyone, so...”
“So he does hate me.”
“No.” Ryan grinned as if he had actually given a clear answer, though to Jun’s frustration, he hadn’t. Ryan was so wrapped up in himself.
Literally. He was actually wrapping his hands up so he could see what it would be like to live without fingers.
David, Phil, and inevitably Justin were all hanging away from Ryan and Jun, so as to set the scene in motion for the next act. Jun went and stood from where he sat and walked towards David, who wasn’t talking directly to Justin.
“Hey, can I talk to you?” he asked. David nodded, very seriously, as that was how he took many things.
“What do you need?” he asked once they were out of earshot of only Justin and no one else.
“Does Justin hate me?” Jun asked. “I asked Ryan, and he couldn’t tell me.”
“I do believe he’s a tsundere.” Jun looked over at Justin. “More tsun than dere. It’s all fanservice, Jun.”
“Okay. I don’t really know what a tsundere is... But does he hate me? Me, specifically?”
“Oh. I don’t know. I’ll ask.” David went to turn and call to Justin and his distracted ears, but Jun stopped him.
“No, don’t do that!”
“What, why not?”
“Because then he’ll know I’m curious.”
“Oh, right.” David looked back at Justin and Phil. “Why don’t you ask Phil? He seems like he knows a lot about Justin.” Jun nodded.
“Yeah, good idea. How-”
“Hey,” David called in his very soft, very serious voice to the two. “Come here.” Both started to walk. “No, just Phil. Justin, stay as far away as possible.”
“What, why should I?” Justin asked, tough as nails but stepping back at the same time.
“Private business.” Justin rolled his eyes, taking all the sassiness with him and away from Jun.
“What’s up?” Phil asked, leaning in as if they were in a football huddle, though some would argue that it’s not really football, it’s a form of rugby.
“You hang out with Justin, right?” Jun asked him, quietly.
“Yeah, sometimes,” Phil responded. “Why?”
“Does he talk about me?” Phil raised his eyebrows.
“Damn, somebody be thinkin’ about J-Lite, huh? Huh?”
“No, not like that, I mean... Does he ever, like, talk about how much he hates me?”
“Oh. Nah, not really. But for real, though, you like Justin? Man, that’s tight! I totally support that!”
“We good? Okay.” Phil took steps away from the group and went back towards Justin, who was staring at the group as if he were a forest ranger speculating birds. Hummingbirds, to be exact.
“I’m glad you got your answer,” David told Jun, and left Jun standing there, kind of hating himself for even bringing up the subject with a bunch of people he knew very well.
Jun went to sit down and reminisce on the past few minutes taken away from his life when Justin walked over to Jun and sat down, looking away like he was embarrassed, a look many already know far too well.
“You think I hate you?” he asked quietly, as if he hoped no one would hear.
“Well... I did,” Jun answered him.
“Why would you...think that? ...Idiot?”
“Well, because you kind of have a...really stong personality. And I can never tell what you’re thinking. And you call me an idiot...a lot. And kind of get mad at me, but I can’t tell if you’re really mad. Also, you don’t really ever talk to me, and it makes me think you hate me because I can sing and dance and I’m part of two good K-Pop groups, and you’re just part of this one and you’re not even the leader-”
“Okay, I get it!” Justin cut him off. “And we didn’t even decide the leader, you idiot.”
“Well, who do you think’ll be the leader?” Justin shrugged, doing the I’m-embarassed-to-admit-to-my-feelings thing.
“I don’t know,” Justin said, then looked to Ryan. “Ryan’s so stupid, he doesn’t even know left from left.” He looked to David and Phil. “David and Phil are kind of just in the back, anyways, they’ll never be the leader.”
“What about you?”
“Me? Of course I can be the leader!”
“Then how about me?” Justin did the thing even more so again.
“You’re...okay, I guess. Idiot.” Jun rolled his eyes.
“Why do you keep calling me an idiot? It’s...kind of mean.”
“‘Cause...” Justin stood up. “Just ‘cause.” Justin looked at him and leaned down to attempt to pat his back comfortingly, but ended up shoving him. “You... Idiot...” Justin walked back towards the safe haven of David and Phil. Jun looked at Ryan, who was looking at his hands, who, if they had eyes, were looking at Ryan in an endless staring contest of boredom.
Jun probably already knew why Justin called him an idiot. But that didn’t even matter. Jun walked past him one last time.
“Thanks, Justin,” he said.
“Whatever...,” Justin said. “You idiot.”
“Whatever you say, baka.” Jun walked out of the room and seemingly out of existance, but Justin was pretty much inherently glad that Jun understood at least some of what he meant.
“Wait, what’s baka mean?”